New found joy

I discovered something about myself this past week, well actually these past couple of weeks

I enjoy preaching

And not just the physical event of preaching

I enjoy all of the studying, processing, prep work, and practice that goes into preaching.

Last night was the first time that I had preached a sermon that was completely my own. Not to say that everything little detail was an original new idea, but it was the first time I preached a longer sermon without following a provided curriculum.

And I loved it.

The funny thing about all this is that as much as I love preaching - I was crazy nervous before I spoke last night. I mean, I thought I was going to lose it.

As the band played the first couple songs, I stepped away thinking I needed to look over my notes one more time - just to make absolutely sure I wouldn't forget anything.

But I didn't look over them again.

I prayed.

And I felt this overwhelming peace just wash over me.

I looked through the black drapes at the outlines of those students. Those crazy middle school students who were about to hear a message - not from me - but from God. I realized how much God loves them and how much I love them and how desperately I want to answer their questions. Frankly, I realized how awesome it is that I get the opportunity to preach in a church-like setting at all! And the fact that I'm in this program where people are going to listen attentively because they want to give me feedback to make me into a better preacher.

I don't know whether it was out of thankfulness to my friends and mentors supporting me, or out of my heart for those students, but the combination of the two made tears come to my eyes.

Needless to say, I believe preaching God's word will be a major part of wherever God ends up taking me.